QotD: Happy President's Day!
Ever run for office? (School, club, organization, politics, etc.) Did you get elected?
Well, well. A relevant qotd.
My political history begins during the 1996 election cycle, when I was in seventh grade. In the spring of that year, my class held a mock election to see who would win: Clinton, Dole, or...Perot. And as an added bonus, three students were selected to portray these characters and engage in a mock debate.
Guess who I got to be! Here's a hint: He's from Texas, he
has big ears, and his name is Ross Perot. I had a lot of fun with
the conference, mostly because I got to use my Ross Perot voice.
I taped my ears out and didn't prepare for the debate at all. I
was blindsided by the fact that they actually asked questions!
So, here began my first lesson in bull$@%#.
I remember that we had to provide our own sign with our name and
stuff. Clinton and Dole came prepared, but that morning I used
colored pencils to throw something together...it was not visible from
five feet, let alone from an audience. In retrospect, I can say
that it was because I was running as an independent and didn't have all
those party dollars...but I was a billionaire so really I was just
being cheap.
I lost the election, handily. I think Clinton won in a landslide, but I picked up a few votes.
The next year in eighth grade, I was universally acclaimed the class
president. This was unique because I had switched schools and it
was my very first day. I think it was because I went in khakis
and a polo shirt, which I was told was too dressed up.
I didn't do anything all year, even though I suppose I had some official duties. Sweet.
I stayed out of the political game until my sophomore year of college. Then, once again a position of authority was thrust (wait, this pun makes sense in a second) upon me as I assumed the mantle of the VP of my college's fencing club. I ended up running practices and teaching people who knew nothing about fencing my very basic skills. Fun again.
That year also saw me become involved in Student Government as an
Associate Justice of the General Court. Basically, our group
answered questions about the SGA constitution and did conduct
hearings. It became one of the single most arduous tasks in my
college career. Things were humming along smoothly until the
elections for Student Body President came up. There hadn't been a
smooth election in years, and this one was no different.
Allegations of cheating were immediately and forcefully (not tactfully)
made against one candidate. These were minor charges, not
disqualifiers, so we decided on a light sanction. Well, this only
fanned the flames, and soon we were hit with a plethora of
complaints...most spurious, some legitimate.
All from the same group of people. Hmmm, worried about losing the election?
Well, obviously we had to walk a fine line and not show
favoritism. Which is why when we received a very tactful,
even-keeled complaint from the same group that had been the object of
the complaints, we gave it some thought. And wouldn't you know
it, that complaint resulted in the disqualification of one of their
opponents. Something about spamming being against University
Policy, compounded with the use of University resources.
Now, we had to have a hearing for this one, and let me tell you that it
lasted until the wee hours of the morning. We're talking 2
am. The Chief Justice couldn't sit on the panel because he had to
present evidence. So, I chaired the hearing, and it went
well. I modelled it on the Student Conduct Hearings I had sat on,
and it went off swimmingly. Except for the part where five
defense witnesses all did the same thing, which was point to a word in
a dictionary and tell us that our definitions weren't correct.
But, we were using the University's definitions of "spam" and
"chain-letter," not Webster's. So our patience broke about 12,
when the Student Body President, who was running for re-election, used
his famous "I've worked in a government office dealing with spam and
chain-letters, and so I know more than you will ever know about this"
defense.
As the chair, I was not impressed, and when he told the Chief Justice
to "Shut up" I turned off the tape recorder and asked him to be
respectful of the proceedings. He refused, and so we finished his
testimony and got him out of there. This did not bode well for
his candidate.
In the end, after much debate, we settled on the second most severe
sanction: Disqualification. We could probably have referred her
to the Student Conduct Committee for using University Resources, but we
figured she would already lose that position. Besides, SCC goes
on your record. So she was out, and that was that.
Oh the fury. If you thought George W. Bush had to deal with
legitimacy issues, then you didn't see the fella who won this school
election. His entire year was sabotaged by rival Senators...
That year, I was the Chief Justice myself, and we had to deal with a number of rather unpleasant folks who thought we showed blatant favoritism. Not true, we just liked people who were more respectful.
I resigned in January to run for Student Body President, but my grades
turned out to be too low. Though, I would attest that the copy of
the Constitution and By-laws was not the correct one. Very
embarassing, but it happens.
That year what I did do was act as a sort of advisor to the guy who did
win. He was outrageous in his public acts, and he needed help
toning it down. Or ratcheting up the craziness. ODU might
have been one of the only campuses in America where you could carry a
firearm...alas, twas not to be.
So here I am now, doing AmeriCorps...looking for the next opportunity
to serve. Perhaps elected, perhaps not. We'll see.
Comments
As you may remember it was I who was backing the campaign to change the school motto to : "ODU -- oh yeah, we're packin'"