Greens and Red Ink

NORFOLK

Green Alternatives, the little shop in Ghent catering to rich people who hate themselves*, thankfully closed its doors Wednesday after just one year in business.

But, as owner Frances Clarkson told a visitor to her locked, half-vacant store on Colonial Avenue, there is a silver lining to this tale of faded green...and a scent of roses among the stale patchouli.

Clarkson said she expects to sell her business as early as this week to a similarly deficient local entrepreneur, Amelia Baker, who intends to open a new Green Alternatives in the same area of Norfolk, hopefully within months.  Because why stop throwing money away after just one failed business?  Ms. Baker politely ignored the sentiment.

Baker, who will run the business with her family, said she also wants to continue using the store as a beacon of ecovangelism, green workshops and getting together to trash the ignorant rednecks all around Norfolk's environmental circles.

"I love all their community outreach," Baker said. "That's always what I've wanted to do, too.  I started by lecturing strangers in restaurants and trolling around websites, but I think I'm ready for the next step."

Since Clarkson and her daughter, Amanda Mason, quit their jobs a year ago and started Green Alternatives, they acknowledge that neglecting to update their resumes was a big oversight.  Despite having organized recycling drives for used clothes and shoes, old electronic equipment, spent batteries, empty yogurt cups and compact fluorescent light bulbs they still found it difficult to convince people not to just throw away their old crap.

They have partnered with the Norfolk Environmental Commission and other nonprofit groups to promote numerous events and classes.  Their most popular class?  "Saltines: The Eco-Terrorist's Cracker and the Misuse of Flour Power."

A table near their front door was loaded with brochures on such topics as Al Gore's housing costs, tricking people into eating soy, and "liberating" livestock without being arrested. 

"They've been wonderful to have," said Holly Carson, who handles public relations for the Norfolk Environmental Commission. "They took on a tremendous load and were able to move quickly outside any bureaucracy.  Since, you know, we really can't wait for the Democrats to win in November before hectoring the deniers in our midst.  They have to pay now for opposing the Revolution."

Clarkson said closing the original store and ending a yearlong odyssey with her daughter "is really heart-breaking.  For her.  I am much more concerned these days with my retirement savings than the whole damn planet!"

Still, she added with a not altogether convincing shrug, "if not for the finances, this has been one of the best years of my life."

The store opened Nov. 15 - on America Recycles Day - offering goods such as soy candles, vegan cookbooks, recycled gift wrap, chemical-free cosmetics, even stationery made from elephant poop**.  Predictably, consumers were leery of such over-priced and, well, inferior products. 

It was one of the only stores of its kind in Hampton Roads, akin to the Heritage Store in Virginia Beach and the Blue Ridge Eco Shop in Charlottesville.

Sales were good, Clarkson said, especially those of environmental books, reusable water bottles and chemical-free cleaning products.

But Clarkson soon realized that "I had no idea how to run a business, and hippies drive real people away like you wouldn't believe."

"I thought we'd be successful just because of our great ideas and enthusiasm," she said. "It doesn't work like that.  You need a product that people actually want, and most of the people who would really come to our store regularly don't drive anymore because they want to lessen their carbon footprint."  Still, she admits to feeling a little cheated.  "Deep down, I somehow know it was because of Bush.  I'm glad we had that effigy burning here in March."

Baker, the incoming owner, said she is looking for commercial space in Ghent, known for its large liberal and hippie populations, and downtown Norfolk so she can attempt to market to businesspeople who might actually have money to burn.  She'd also like to start a retail Web site.

"There's so many new products in this field," she said. "One of the newest things is this book that teaches you how to just eat grass and only use one square of toilet paper.  I'm excited to get started."

------------------------------

* Thank you Baby Mama.  Yes I thought it was funny.

** This was in the original article.